> Shrouded in darkness;

~~Thursday, February 28, 2008~~

10:14 PM

"Outside" Me.
what some classmates thought
of my "outside" character.
- humorous , obedient honest
- positive , optimistic , fun-loving
- gentlemanly , caring , helpful
- quiet , funny , mad
- EMO , pessimistic , sadistic
- calm , cool

but sometimes the outside never
looked the same as the inside..
i never believed they were..
everyone knows their own "inside"
better than anyone else.
different people , different perspectives
some feel indifferent ,
some feel the world crashing down
always true that everyone has at
least someone to tell their worries,
fears, thoughts, dreams with
let's run this life's race together!

i cry ten thousand times
but you don't care
i keep thinking of you but you think
of someone else
i'd do anything for you to smile but
my pain equates to your happiness
pathetic , insecure , stubborn
how silly can i get

i love your smile :)

~~Wednesday, February 27, 2008~~

10:55 PM

was clearing my old phone's
sms inbox for my mum's usage..
when i stumbled upon these 2
sms-es from 'her'..
and of course.. i was like
adgsdhsdykytkgh .. crap
" It's okay. Thanks for everything
i couldn't accept. "
and
" you're too nice. thanks for being
my friend :) .. "
it hurts to read these 2
and seeing how she cut all
links with me so easily..
just.. lose contact

how many times have you watched
me fall just to smile.
why walk away when that something
is already there.
i am selfless, you'll always
have all of me.

i love your smile :)

~~Monday, February 25, 2008~~

10:04 PM

oo..! Royston Tan of movie 881
came to my school today !
as well as the singer of
一人一半 - Wu Jia Hui
haha quite interesting sia.
yes lah! physics teacher have to
bring sec 2 NCC students for
3 days 2 nights camp
means no physics lessons
and extra lesson after sch tmr!
shisamo shisamo shisamo ~
i want to eat more~!
still left 2 episodes of
One Litre Of Tears..

here i am, silly as it may seem
foolishly ignoring the pain in my heart
whatever the fate
no matter how cruel
this fool is waiting to be in your thoughts
my silent tears accumulate over time
all out to pursue that precious love

i love your smile :)

~~Sunday, February 24, 2008~~

10:20 PM

Yeehh~ shiok! ;D
eat at Ikai Jap Restaurant.
buffet style wor.. but..!
service not that good -___-
at the ending serve superr slow
but i loved the different sashimis,
shisamo (pregnant fish) and..
my desert ! green tea ice-cream
with red bean topping xDD
yep! but it was 20-30% more exp
than sakae i think.. zzz
now thinking back.. the memories
chinatown brings back..
not with a sad mentality or a
heavy heart but maybe..
laughing at how silly i was..
it was 'that' time.. i accompanied
'her' to 'her' guitar lesson at
tanjong pagar,international plaza..
when it ended, 'her' aunty actually
came to pick her up.. but we
planned to do other things so..
i stalked them ^^ lol.. all the
way to chinatown. midway.. they
break for lunch at some small
restaurant then i was like -___-
dang. luckily or unfortunately
got 7 eleven then i bought cup noodles.
and crap lah! the water not hot
but just warm? Zzz!
from that day i nvr eat it.
then back to stalking business..
finally i lost them cos..
they went in a clinic and
sian.. the location it was
got no place to actually hide and
look out ._. so.. they went out
and i didn't realise till i received
sms. even better i don't know where
people's park complex, run around
like mad idiot then finally just
asked some guy then went to the bus
stop where her aunty left.
silly huh? another reason why is
'her' parents has a stall selling
yu pian mi fen at the coffeeshop
behihnd chinatown point. been
there a few times..
chat, laugh, tease..
it was so fun then.. hah..
btw for those who know..
don't mind my eyelid injury..
play basketball that time.. just
got headbutt by some other guy
then my specs had to scratch it
look nice sia. like the prince of tennis
ryoma echizen kena the eyelid injury
hahas =XX
wanna be. a neurologist.

life is what happens while you're busy
making your excuses..
my life and future isn't a dream anymore
i will live each day to my fullest.
aim for my goals that i've just found
have to change my pathetic mentality
and be happy about past memories
not be sad or cry over it.
my friends, memories, family are
the pillars of support and encouragement
i'll never give up.
help me. reach my goals.

i love your smile :)

~~Thursday, February 21, 2008~~

9:46 PM

started watching a jap drama..
based on real story and it's
realllyyy touching.. even
steel hearted ppl would tear.
"One litre of tears"
only at ep 2 and 3 already
start tearing .. gah..
kept tearing when i was in the
shower.. out of nowhere with
no reason too.. but i felt
refreshed after that..
i must be thinking too much..
crap.
i need someone to tell me
how to live life to the fullest
now, yes i mean right now
before i start regretting
things i should have done
afterall the future is unpredictable
and everything is already so
coincidental, never been better

all these years i've kept so many
things inside of me
i never knew, never realise
almost ready to explode
i see your dreams coming true
see mine crashing down
thinking not too far ahead
just living my life
day by day slowly..

i love your smile :)

~~Wednesday, February 20, 2008~~

9:02 PM

wake up call..
it's already the final year..
O's coming ..
have to stop walkin
down the wrong path..
wrong lane..
everything going against me
partings and meetings
were meant to be,
leave it be
i'm still going to walk forward
towards an unseen destination
even if i'm lost,
i'll continue to the end.
as life goes on..
we mustn't forget the ones
we hold dear to us..
the only light in our darkness
let my dreams come true
we're gonna meet again
i know it
as friends forever

amid the changing seasons
and the flow of time
familiar melodies
no matter how long has passed
they won't fade away
our precious memories

i love your smile :)

~~Tuesday, February 19, 2008~~

9:57 PM

argh!! sickening flu
spread here spread there
everywhere in class -_-"
woot .. e.maths common test
get 40 1/2 upon 50..
not bad lah considering nvr study
hais!! highest was 44 too bad..
chinese common test was a
paper 1 LOL.. nvm lah
get 32/50, highest 36..
teacher say i got improve
but it looks the same -_-"
my mother don't let me take MC
for one day rest siah.. actually
wanted to sleep through today
but at 7am mother woke me and
i no choice have to rush
then go sch zzz..
give me a break ._.

love for a day, even on bright days,
and during nights when i suffer in silence
the light "you" shines in every corner of my heart
my dreams begin searching for a new home
we used to have the same smile
but too many events have passed since then

i love your smile :)

~~Thursday, February 14, 2008~~

8:11 PM

happy valentine's day ! <3

roses and chocolates~ ..

hugs and kisses~ ..

what am i looking forward to..

on this special day..?

locked myself at home..

trying not to drift into deep thought..

this day coming to an end,

yet i've done nothing to rmb of .

just drowning myself

in work and music ..

Valentine's Day not for the

broken hearted =ppp

i haven't forgotten the words i said,
i saw a sparkle in you not anyone else.
you gave me hope and captivated me
but you left me in pieces with
half-filled memories

i love your smile :)

~~Wednesday, February 13, 2008~~

9:31 PM

someday, yes someday,
you'll see what i've put into for you.
one day when i reminisce over all these,
i'll realise at least i did put in effort

因为离开你以后，并没有更自由

就算放開但能不能別沒收我的愛

Don't remember someone from the past.
There's a reason why they never made it to
your future.
- Unknown

i love your smile :)

~~Monday, February 11, 2008~~

9:30 PM

"A promise is a beautiful lie."

that line u said, i will never

ever forget.

i kept to my promise but

u didn't..

so that line just makes

perfect sense doesn't it.

whatever you hear

i won't disappear

what a fool i am to have made

that promise..

you say that i waste my time but
i can't get you off my mind
without the mask where will i hide
i'm frightened by what i see
forsaking all i've fallen for..

i love your smile :)

~~Sunday, February 10, 2008~~

10:15 PM

hahas thankyou ppl for making

today so wonderful and fun =DD

just wished that it could last longer..

have more fun xDD

watched kungfu dunk at night too!

>> jay's FAN << =X lol

it was funny hahas..

today.. God's words touched me..

i felt that what the pastor was saying

was somewhat directed to me,

and it held my attention the whole

1hr 30mins.

we can't move on if we don't

relinquish(let go) our past, our fears,

things that we keep to ourselves

unknown to the people around us

as long as it remains,

we can never change who we are

just tied down by them..

the whole talk just points out and

makes a lot of things seem so clear

what i lack, what's amiss in my life

i've been enlightened in

this area now.. and i'll make an

improvement

stop backsliding! =x

it's better to have loved and lost,
than failed at the very beginning..
it will all seem crystal clear one day
whether the effort put in was worthwhile
nevertheless, i tried my hardest..
if it even matters at all..

i love your smile :)

~~Friday, February 8, 2008~~

11:30 PM

HAPPY CNY ALL!! <3

祝大家心想事成!

hope ue all had a great time..

visiting relatives.. chatting with cousins

that ue only get to see once a year! LOL

yep! that's why CNY is special..

compulsion gathering haha!

my mother cooked for 40 ppl oso

still got leftovers -__-

but good! today can eat zzz..

year by year i can see the gap.. between

me and my cousins.. widening..

i'll see what happens so no nid

think so much =\\

what kind of impact would it make..
if i suddenly disappear from everyone..
or it would just be another thing
that comes and go, nobody cares and remembers
yet again i'm not alone.. or am i?

i love your smile :)

~~Tuesday, February 5, 2008~~

9:11 PM

i'm tired.. physically and emotionally..

tired of hurting and listening..

misery's my best friend and only company

haha..

i hate to see sad things happen

i hate to see people leaving

cry myself to sleep thinking

why does this happen to me?

why does every moment have to be so hard?

with every worthless word we get more far away

my suppressed emotions are at the very back

it hurts too much to know the truth
but i am still in love with you
i would've bled to make you happy
you didn't need to treat me that way
one day i'll wake up and
it won't hurt anymore
give me something to believe in

i love your smile :)

~~Monday, February 4, 2008~~

9:36 PM

so thankful for the many

friends i have now~

who really care about me..

espiecially a few and my mei!

each time i see ue all..

my mood and day will brighten up!

just like 'someone' said before..

which i refused to acknowledge at that time..

i live in a surrounding where so many ppl

care and are concerned about me

但我不知福

but now i truly understand..

how important it is, how i should treasure

every single bit of it.

'your' words are not forgotten.

you changed me so much..
good or bad it doesn't matter at all..
i like it just the way it is..
i don't care how others judge me,
in the end it's not going to affect me in anyway.
i had never wished for you to leave
but i guess it was inevitable..
i still shed a tear every once in a while
and i miss your smile..
you're probably in a better place
so it's better not to see my sad face

i love your smile :)

~~Sunday, February 3, 2008~~

9:49 PM

i just realised this..

even if you show courage and pretend to be strong,

u can't live all alone .

the promise we made on that day,

remains deep in my heart,

as life goes on .. u must not forget,

AND dont let it go.. ,

this vast land and your friends !!

ookay other things now..

FINISHED shopping! haha i think.

but still want go out walk walk!! lol!

window shopping oso can =pp

pray pray pray to God!!

he works wonders sometimes..

believe hard!!

shine comes after rain but

immediate rain comes after shine..

comfort won't come if you talk about it too much

i can still walk my life without a reason to.

i love your smile :)